Two Years Ago. . .

This is a photo of my OBGYN and infertility specialist Dr. Chalmer's. I love him and the friendship I have with him. He is a great guy who truly tries to help his patients. I send him emails all the time.

June this year marks 2 years since my miscarriage and going through this journey of infertility I never imagined I would be going through. But that is life ehh? I have been super emotional and to tell you the truth fed up with most of it.
The more I try the more off my body gets to making a baby. I am getting numb to the whole situation and feel so blessed to have my two girls. I am really lucky to be a mother. I love my two girls and they help me to love more and more everyday.
If I have learned anything through this trial it has to be the ability to love more and understand how hard life is for not just me but everyone around me. Heavenly Father is in control not me. He doesn't punish us by giving us trials He wants to see us grow and become more like Him.
Trent and I are becoming more used to the idea we may just be a family of four and that is ok. Or we may have to wait longer to have another baby or it may never come. Life is good and we will carry on:)

Girls Camp . . .

I headed to Girls Camp up at Kolob this week with my ward. I couldn't leave my family for 5 days so I just went up Thurs-Sat. It was pretty dang fun, I don't think I have laughed that hard in a long time.
We had a tire rolling down the hill several times and almost peeing my pants. The girls were so sweet and wonderful, I got to know the leaders better and we all are a hoot together.
I won the push up contest we did. . . They started it a few days before I got there and then challenged me to do it, I accepted and did a whopping 63!! I was pretty pumped since I even beat a Priesthood leader we had. ha ha
I really thought about and missed Nicole May since the last time I was in Kolob she was there with her beautiful smile and making us all laugh. I could feel her there with me.
I helped belay for rock climbing and that was pretty scary, and hard to follow. Then I rock climbed the tallest wall they had!! It was hard I slipped and fell off and flew to the side so I didn't really know how to get back on. but I did. And made it to the top. So, dang cool. I also went repelling and remembered that I like climbing better. lol.
Testimony meeting was great and then we were ready to get home...my favorite year at camp so far!!

Lately:

1) Paid off our 2007 Yukon Denali. Feels so good. Of course we have had to replace the windshield and have had a side piece come off. It is like the car is mocking us! We sacrificed stuff to pay large amounts off. But it worked out in our favor and we got it done a lot faster.
2) We headed down to AZ the week after Ty got home to see Kylee's baby Penny get blessed. And see great Grandma Leslie and great Grandpa Ron. The trip seemed ok until we missed a turn off and but quickly turned around again. Then Trent and I were just saying how lucky we were that our kids never got car sick. Pretty soon after that Lyla started coughing and puked everywhere.. Trent started catching it in his hands (braver than me) while I jerked the car off the side of the road. It was real mess, and made the car smell lovely. I slept horrible the 2 nights we were there too. But there were good parts about the trip. Trent and I decided we could live I Surprise AZ. It is really nice there. My Grandma wasn't feeling great so we didn't get a chance to visit her at her house. Just at Kylee's on Sunday. Kylee had a bday party for Maddox at a park and it was scorching hot!! But we still managed to have a good time. We also got to visit with our good friends Chase and Nicole Woods. They live close to Surprise. They have amazing house and pool. It made me rethink our house in the future.
We have been having so much fun with Ty home. He just left for EFY for 7 weeks.
I am hiding out in my room right now. Evelyn refused to try what I made for dinner and has been throwing a fit about it for the last 2 hours. Hanging all over me...so I took a time out for myself while she screamed and pounded on my bedroom door. Yep...fun stuff.
I am heading to girls camp this week for a few days, I am excited it should be lots of fun.
Evelyn graduated from kindergarten this past week. And we went and watched the cutest performance ever!! Love her so much...when she isn't throwing a fit for hours on end. Lol I will be sad for full time school next year though!

Old post I forgot about. . .

-Ty is officially home and doing better than ever! Oh my goodness I love that kid. I ran some video for him on my new camera. It was pretty awesome. Their is nothing that camera can't do.
-Trent is 29 we gave him the Big Bang Theory on DVD and some Mustang parts. Poor guy slept most of his bday and his Chinese Restaurant was closed that night. So we went to McDonalds.
-Evelyn turned six yesterday and had a blast do I it. I took her class cookies and a drink. And they were good cookies I love as so dang proud. I took her home from school and she had friends come over for a swimming party. With a slip n slide here and water balloons and a sprinkler. Then after that party we had a joint party for Trent and Evelyn at our house it was pretty dang fun!! Besides Evelyn stepping on some glass and cutting her foot pretty badly. It was my first gift from Trent ever. A glad horse he gave to me once upon a time.
-I had a photo shoot today and it went great. But man they wear me out I just did it in my yard. A baby and a toddler shoot.

Epiphany. . . Well More Like An Answer To Prayer!!

This weekend Trent took the girls to Coral Pink without me. We had planned this trip with friends for a while. But, my nasty cold kept me home. I was relieved he wanted to take the girls. And very proud of him that he did. They all did amazing without me, maybe it's my parenting skills.
While he was gone it kind of got me thinking. I have been having such a hard time seeing eye to eye with Evelyn lately...we have really been clashing. And Lyla is almost 4 and in my book, that is one very hard age!! I have been praying on how to become a more patient, loving, understanding mother. Pleading with Heavenly Father to guide me in some direction.
Then it hit me.....my book: "The Power of Positive Parenting". I went and grabbed it from the shelf. I got this book at least a year ago it is bulky and bulky books usually frighten me away. But, I remember when I first got it I had taken so many notes. Cause when I need answers to a question I want a short way to find it. Not read the whole chapter of a book. So I typed up all my notes and also found plenty more to plug in there.
Ok I have been doing completely everything WRONG!! So, I have been studying my notes and really pleading with Heavenly Father to help me stay calm and apply the changes the right way. I know that I affect them way more than I know. So, here is too a fresh new Patient start!!

I was in heaven while my three family members were gone. Well besides the sick thing. I was able to get to many organization projects I have been wanting to get done for months. My mind was clear and I was able to really think about my life and ponder. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

When you just can't talk. . .

-Right now I am holding onto the last straws of my voice. I had a crazy cold spring itself up on my a few days ago. To be honest I haven't been getting enough sleep and have been running around too fast. Next week is one Trent and I have really been looking forward too and also scared a little of. It is really crazy!!
Monday: Trent turns the big 2-9!! Happy bday honey:)
Tuesday: My brother Ty gets home from his 2 year mission to Perth Australia!! Wahoo, he gets to fly into St. George too. We are all so excited.
Wed: Evelyn turns 6 and we will be having a friend party for Evelyn and a family party for both her and Trent that night.
Thurs: I possibly have a photoshoot and Evelyn has her riding lesson.
Friday: nothing planned so far....PHEW
Sat: Trent's brother Taylor marries Megan!! Great, fun, adorable couple they are. So that day will be jammed packed with awesomeness!!
Sunday: Ty reports in my parents ward about his mission. All of my siblings will be down. Never....ever...happens:)
That is some week!!
-Today I stayed home as the girls and Trent went camping for the night. We have been planning a Coral Pink dunes trip for months. And then my crappy cold came. The girls were so dang excited...almost as much as Trent. I told them to go without me. I have no voice to do the parenting thing right now anyways. I was proud and impressed Trent wanted the girls to go with him. I asked him if he was up for the task and he said yes!! He is so wonderful. I am sad but a little happy I can just rest by myself and hopefully get better ASAP. Lots of people have been sick lately, it just isn't fair !!
-About once a day I feel guilty about how my parenting skills are lacking. Time to break out. The Power of  Positive Parenting book. It just gets tougher and tougher to me. But, they are so sweet and forgiving to my lack of prepardness!! I love those girls so much and they teach me how to love more every day!!
-Two years ago this month I got pregnant with our third. Who was not able to join our family. It has been a hard two years....very hard. But, I have learned to love more, life isn't easy, and all is well no matter what falls in your path. He never gives us things we cannot handle and I learned in a recent church lesson I gave our trials are specifically picked out for us...and only us by our loving Heavenly Father. Who wants us to rise to the challenge.

What We Have Been Up Too Lately. . .

1) Trent got his Mustang back this week and it is even prettier in person. Oh man I love it. And am so happy he finally has it back. We will have take it on some hot dates. It is the perfect color and I feel I am as giddy as Trent is about the car.....love love it. 

2) The more I try to balance my body out to conceive again the more messed up my body becomes. Let's just say 2 periods in 2 weeks was not fun this month. It is almost becoming amusing....almost!!

3) Evelyn started horseback riding lessons with Makenzie Bush this week and lets just say I have never been more proud. She owned that horse and her teacher said she really caught on quick. I am now wanting to buy cute boots and what not. We may have a future Rodeo girl on our hands...lol. She loved it and can't wait to go back next Thurs. 

4) I officially quit my Pilates class this week. It was a terribly hard decision. I fasted and prayed about it and that is just how I felt. I love working out but my kids are more important and it was stressing me out so much!! I do photography, young women's have two littles and a husband and house to maintain. I am only one person.  I only taught for 3 years. It does not mean that I can't go back and teach in the future. But, my kids are only little for so long. I don't want to regret in the future. I already know it was the right decision and feel so happy about it all. I am pretty proud of myself. 

5) Our chickens got on top of my car and scratched the crap out of it  a few weeks ago. Idk how they didn't get killed that night. They haven't tried since and well, I was so mad. They have told me they were sorry with giving us plenty of eggs and eating all of our bugs. haha. Good think I am married to a car guy we waxed them and they came out fine:)

6) A week from tomorrow we will be celebrating lots of fun stuff. Trent will turn 29 Monday. Ty gets home Tuesday from his mission, Evelyn turns 6 Wed. Taylor gets married Sat. And Ty reports his mission Sunday it is going to be one stressful fun week full of family and awesomeness!! Can't wait!!

7) Heard around our house:

Lyla- "Mom I just saw a pink car for reals...for reals!! (as we are driving down the road). 

Evelyn- "Mom it looks like you have a baby in your tummy ....do you? No I don't why? Cause I just want a baby brother so badly. .....sniffle it is so hard sometimes. (p.s. I really am not prego...I wish)

8) My Mom, Evelyn and I went yard saling and we found some fun stuff. Evelyn wanted the bday present I bought for Camille. She wouldn't forget about it until mom took her to her house for a Grammy Day!!

9) We can hear a mouse in our walls, great....now onto buying traps and trying to trap the little stinker. 

10) We are going camping this weekend with some friends. It will be a blast for sure.