When you just can't talk. . .

-Right now I am holding onto the last straws of my voice. I had a crazy cold spring itself up on my a few days ago. To be honest I haven't been getting enough sleep and have been running around too fast. Next week is one Trent and I have really been looking forward too and also scared a little of. It is really crazy!!
Monday: Trent turns the big 2-9!! Happy bday honey:)
Tuesday: My brother Ty gets home from his 2 year mission to Perth Australia!! Wahoo, he gets to fly into St. George too. We are all so excited.
Wed: Evelyn turns 6 and we will be having a friend party for Evelyn and a family party for both her and Trent that night.
Thurs: I possibly have a photoshoot and Evelyn has her riding lesson.
Friday: nothing planned so far....PHEW
Sat: Trent's brother Taylor marries Megan!! Great, fun, adorable couple they are. So that day will be jammed packed with awesomeness!!
Sunday: Ty reports in my parents ward about his mission. All of my siblings will be down. Never....ever...happens:)
That is some week!!
-Today I stayed home as the girls and Trent went camping for the night. We have been planning a Coral Pink dunes trip for months. And then my crappy cold came. The girls were so dang excited...almost as much as Trent. I told them to go without me. I have no voice to do the parenting thing right now anyways. I was proud and impressed Trent wanted the girls to go with him. I asked him if he was up for the task and he said yes!! He is so wonderful. I am sad but a little happy I can just rest by myself and hopefully get better ASAP. Lots of people have been sick lately, it just isn't fair !!
-About once a day I feel guilty about how my parenting skills are lacking. Time to break out. The Power of  Positive Parenting book. It just gets tougher and tougher to me. But, they are so sweet and forgiving to my lack of prepardness!! I love those girls so much and they teach me how to love more every day!!
-Two years ago this month I got pregnant with our third. Who was not able to join our family. It has been a hard two years....very hard. But, I have learned to love more, life isn't easy, and all is well no matter what falls in your path. He never gives us things we cannot handle and I learned in a recent church lesson I gave our trials are specifically picked out for us...and only us by our loving Heavenly Father. Who wants us to rise to the challenge.

What We Have Been Up Too Lately. . .

1) Trent got his Mustang back this week and it is even prettier in person. Oh man I love it. And am so happy he finally has it back. We will have take it on some hot dates. It is the perfect color and I feel I am as giddy as Trent is about the car.....love love it. 

2) The more I try to balance my body out to conceive again the more messed up my body becomes. Let's just say 2 periods in 2 weeks was not fun this month. It is almost becoming amusing....almost!!

3) Evelyn started horseback riding lessons with Makenzie Bush this week and lets just say I have never been more proud. She owned that horse and her teacher said she really caught on quick. I am now wanting to buy cute boots and what not. We may have a future Rodeo girl on our hands...lol. She loved it and can't wait to go back next Thurs. 

4) I officially quit my Pilates class this week. It was a terribly hard decision. I fasted and prayed about it and that is just how I felt. I love working out but my kids are more important and it was stressing me out so much!! I do photography, young women's have two littles and a husband and house to maintain. I am only one person.  I only taught for 3 years. It does not mean that I can't go back and teach in the future. But, my kids are only little for so long. I don't want to regret in the future. I already know it was the right decision and feel so happy about it all. I am pretty proud of myself. 

5) Our chickens got on top of my car and scratched the crap out of it  a few weeks ago. Idk how they didn't get killed that night. They haven't tried since and well, I was so mad. They have told me they were sorry with giving us plenty of eggs and eating all of our bugs. haha. Good think I am married to a car guy we waxed them and they came out fine:)

6) A week from tomorrow we will be celebrating lots of fun stuff. Trent will turn 29 Monday. Ty gets home Tuesday from his mission, Evelyn turns 6 Wed. Taylor gets married Sat. And Ty reports his mission Sunday it is going to be one stressful fun week full of family and awesomeness!! Can't wait!!

7) Heard around our house:

Lyla- "Mom I just saw a pink car for reals...for reals!! (as we are driving down the road). 

Evelyn- "Mom it looks like you have a baby in your tummy ....do you? No I don't why? Cause I just want a baby brother so badly. .....sniffle it is so hard sometimes. (p.s. I really am not prego...I wish)

8) My Mom, Evelyn and I went yard saling and we found some fun stuff. Evelyn wanted the bday present I bought for Camille. She wouldn't forget about it until mom took her to her house for a Grammy Day!!

9) We can hear a mouse in our walls, great....now onto buying traps and trying to trap the little stinker. 

10) We are going camping this weekend with some friends. It will be a blast for sure. 

Lately. . . .

-We had a blast up in Utah when we went to go and see Taryn graduate from BYU. We also made it up to Logan and saw Kendra, Sterling, and Sailor and saw their adorable little charm house that was built in the 1930's. It was adorable and Kendra is so good at decorating. The girls had a blast together as we went to some fun kid places. Lyla did not like the trampoline place but they loved the fun park. We also got a hotel in Salt Lake and went and toured the conference center and temple square. I am so grateful to be a member of my church and know what I know. The church is true and I love being a part of it!! The girls ran all around the grounds smelling every tulip. They really loved seeing it all. We had a really nice room we stayed in. We ate out....a lot of the time. Felt pretty fatty pants after our trip. ha ha. We had such a fun time with family and seeing our old friends: Alan & Lori Frost and Bishop Bartholemew. Amazing people we have met from our Provo adventures. I thought I would really be sad driving by our old Provo house, but I don't miss that life too badly. I love what we are up to now in Overton for the most part. I miss the stores and friends and stuff to do up there though.
-I finally got my camera back and it is in tip top shape again. Along with my new Kelly Moore Songbird camera bag. And I am set!! Shoots here I come.
-My amazing and handsome brother Ty gets home in 3 weeks. I can't believe it. He is kind of sad to come home but we are all so excited. He has had a wonderful mission and done such a good job at serving the Lord with all he could. Way to go Ty. I am sure the girls will start floating around. He is a great catch!!
-I tried contacts for the first time in my life last week. I was all excited and gun-ho. I wore them for about 7 hours before I ripped them out of my eye sockets. I felt as though a pound of sand was poured into my right eye. Yikes....and the doc wanted me to sleep in them and wear 24/7 for a week. But, I have really dry eyes. I told the office the next day so they said I probably have really sensitive eyes and can't handle them. So, yesterday I was picking out a new pair of sunglasses and normal glasses. I am excited to get them!! The price was so much for the eye exam and those but what can you do?
-Trent is supposed to pick up his Mustang (painted) this Sat. We won't really believe it until it is sitting in the garage. Ohhh man he is giddy:)
-Evelyn has May Day dances this week and only has one more month of school left!! She is excited for summer:)
Photos from this past weekend coming soon!!

Life Gets.....interesting.

-Well, life is hard and things happen. Since I last posted. My brand new Canon 5D Mark III camera and lens has been dropped. It was a huge accident on a shoot that involved other people and it was crappy for everyone. I had to pay $403 dollars to send it into Canon and get it repaired. Which really sucks...since I don't even have the camera payed off yet. Yep, just one of life's crappy,crappy things. Put a lot of stress on me these past few weeks....enough said though. Hope to have it back this next week. Moving on now...
-On a more positive note I sold the bag and another lens to help me pay for the cost of the repair and stuff. So I needed a new bag that zipped up differently and found this gem below. A Kelly Moore camera bag has been on my wishlist for years. So, that is something good that came out of the camera drop situation:)
-Trent's Mustang is finally getting painted as I am typing right now....He is so excited for it. He really deserves it after all this waiting time. It has been in a shop waiting to get painted for a year and 1/2 now. Which is just silly!! It will be a great date car for sure.
-My four chickens whom I was just starting to cozy up to got onto my beautiful Denali and scratched the crap out of the hood. It is safe to say they were almost turned into chicken nuggets that night. But, I decided to be nice and keep them a little longer and come up with an alternative. Hmmmm
-Evelyn has been on Spring break this last week and we have really enjoyed having her home. Only six more weeks of school...crazy. Not ready for her to go full time next year.
-Lyla is getting so big and so grown up. She doesn't like to snuggle with me as much which is hard cause she is my baby. They really do grow really fast.
-I am supposed to go to the eye doc this week and possibly get contacts. My eyesight is getting worse all the time. And it is driving me nuts. Wish me luck!!
-Most of this past week has gone to editing and staring at the computer and editing some more and having my eye sockets on fire. But, man I love the results from my new camera. They are really fabulous!! I feel more and more like a true pro every day.
-Trent has had to work nights for a while. That is all.
-Trent has resurrected the Suzuki 160 for the girls to start riding. Evelyn really loves it and it is a great size for them. Now to get some helmets.

Lately With These Leavitt's :

-I can't believe it but I finally got my new camera I have been drooling over for years. The Canon Mark III, I also got an L series 24-70mm lens with it. And I have never felt more in control during photo sessions. I have done two shoots with the new stuff and am so so happy with the results. I feel like a true professional now!! Totally worth the major money splurge. It really helped when I sold my old camera with lenses, and my light and light stand. I shipped that to Kentucky! But, it was worth it all. I have been doing lots of photo shoots and it is so fun.
-Askeroth family changes, Kylee is at the hospital right now having her third baby that is a girl. Penelope June Dowse will arrive soon. Happy for her but baby stuff is always a bit bitter sweet for me right now. And my sister in law Tiffany is expecting. Bittersweet once again. She just told everyone today on FB.  I can document that we were both seeing the same doc for infertility and both on our second round of Femara. She conceived I did not. We would have been due a few days apart if it would have happened to me too. The month after that is when I got on Clomid and went to the hospital. Right now I have been taking an emotional break but still trying and taking Fertility herbs. I am not documenting this stuff to make any of my family feel bad. Just for my posterity to read in the future.
-We are still trying to figure out our house plans for sure. Many, many, hard decisions but we have one to go off of. Now.
-This just in....Lyla now refuses to go to sleep both of my girls do. Which turns me into an ugly "Go To Bed Beast!!". I need to go repent for the yelling. And find a better solution. Being a parent is the toughest job in the world.
-I think I will be spending this whole week editing. Here I go now....Goodbye...

Lately:

1) Evelyn asks almost every night when I put her to bed when I am going to have a baby boy. Holding back the tears I tell her that if our Heavenly Father wants us to have another baby...even a baby boy than it will happen. I also told her I didn't know if it was going to happen. (those moments are pretty hard)
2) I am currently taking natural fertility pills up the wazoo to see if that does anything. Feeling water logged...ha ha.
3) Trent's is working different hours at work. They are sometimes hard...sometimes ok.
4) Lyla says lots of words skipping the second letter. Thing=Sing, Skirt=Sirt, Shop=Sop many more I can't think of right now. I hope she never stops doing it. I love love it so much.
5)Three things I am currently craving/drooling over in my life:
A) Being pregnant, and having a baby bump, feel the baby move, and add to our family. Someday perhaps....
B) Building our house. Figuring it all out. Actually getting started on the whole ordeal, and being able to save for it. After the parade of homes, we found a house/floorplan we love love love!! Just making it work for us and making it much much smaller. These tight quarters and my laundry room in the garage are really starting to get to me...ya know? Maybe you don't if you have an awesome house with actual closets and space. Someday perhaps...
C) A new camera for my photography. I know it is time to upgrade and improve. I feel like I am behind and I truly hate it. It doesn't help that the new Canon Mark III 5D costs $3,000 either. I am currently trying to sell, sell, sell. And save from my photoshoots and all. Someday perhaps...
6) I have recently changed my Pure Bliss Photography name to Whirly Pear Photography. My friend Lindsey who is basically family designed my new logo for me and she is pretty dang amazing!! I spend all week designing my website and it was so tedious but very worth the time and effort.
7) Young Women's is going so great. I am really beginning to love my girls so much. They are so sweet and we have a great organization.

Sums it up right now...

   For some reason this Demi Lovato song sums up how I feel about infertility right now. I just had to post for my posterity.                                


                                    See you calling again

I don't wanna pick up, no, oh
I've been laying in bed
Probably thinking too much, oh, oh

Sorry I'm not sorry for the times
I don't reply, you know the reason why

Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
Tired of being so sad,
Tired of getting so mad, baby
Stop right now,
You'll only let me down, oh, oh
Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me

Trying not to forget,
Should be easier than this oh, oh
And all the birthdays you've missed
I was only a kid oh, oh

Sorry I'm not sorry for the times
I don't reply, you know the reason why

Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
Tired of being so sad,
Tired of getting so mad, baby
Stop right now,
You'll only let me down, oh, oh
Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
To me

Sorry I'm not sorry for the times

Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
Tired of being so sad,
I'm tired of getting so mad, baby
Stop right now,
You'll only let me down, oh, oh
Maybe you shouldn't come back
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me