Life as we know it....

Lyla- Woke up with a pinkish eye today. I took it easy with her and ran to the Sage Health and grabbed some eyedrops and colloidal silver and have been putting both of them in her eye all day. She didn't have any other symptoms besides just a little pink in the white part of her eye. By the time I put her down her eye looked pretty normal so I am hoping she will wake up normal.
Evelyn- I have really been checking her and Lyla's heads daily for lice. Since it has been going around Evelyn's school. And washing their heads with tea tree oil mixed in with their shampoo. Crossing my fingers that really works too.
Trent- Is giddy about his Mustang possibly getting painted soon. But that is what we have heard a long time ago. I hope it really can happen soon for him. He is always doing projects in the garage. I like that he likes to stay busy. He just lowered our RZR roof and it looks awesome!! I love that man.
Tara- Infertility..how do people try to conceive for years?  I am so close to just giving up, and being happy with my two. Maybe that is what it will come down too. It is especially hard this month again. I would have a one year old, my due date was Feb. 5th. So that day will also be hard for me. Life really gets tough as you get older. I have grown so much from this trial and have been able to see how blessed I really am in life. And how hard others trials are as well.

Sunday we had so much fun with the Askeroth cousins. Mayley got blessed and Jacob spoke in church and we had lots of fun. Evelyn is so sad she lives far from her cousins.

Blogging Slacker...

Once upon a time I used to be good at blogging...the end. ha ha. 

Here is the scoop with us lately:

1) Trent and I have spend the last few night drawing up our dream home. Oh it is so fantastic and stressful and fun. After searching through hundreds of house plans we found one we both love. We are going to modify somewhat but I am so giddy. 

It is a Craftsman two story home with white trim and it is gorgeous!! We hope to start building in the next year or so. Hard to know exactly but we finally have a start. Wahoo!! So dang excited:) 

2) Lyla has spent this last week talking about her Superman, Ninja Turtle moms who let her do what ever she wants to. If I say she can't do/have something at the moment she says but my Superman mommy says I can. Oh she is good...really good. 

3) I have been taking my Femera fertility meds this month. And every time I take them my stupid back goes out. And I felt like my uterus was going to explode that is normal too I guess. I feel at peace this month and have full trust in heavenly father. I know for a fact he will take care of me. Even if I am not getting the result I want out of this trial. I know all will be ok. 

4) Evelyn quit ballet this past month. Her cousin Abby stopped and she came out and told me she just doesn't like it. I was really bummed and asked her multiple times if that is really what she wanted to do. No, mom I don't want to go anymore. Ok then. She is doing so great in school and is on her 9th section of sight words. I am so proud of her hard work and her excitement for life. 

5) Today we went on a very long Rzr ride with the girls and the MOB crew. Left at 11:30 am and got back around 3!! Fun but oh so long. Then we headed to Trent's parents for a bbq. It was a really tiresome day. But fun. The girls are sleeping in Evelyn's bed tonight. So much fun. Love it. lol 

6) Our baby chickens are thriving and happy out in our yard. They flock around my feet every day when I feed them. I am keen to them since I have raised them since they hatched. So I like them more than my other chickens. But man can they poop. I am very picky with how often I clean in there. lol

7) I am really enjoying my new young women calling. I love my Beehives and the women I get to work with. It is all fantastic. 

8) Trent is still waiting for his Mustang to be painted, poor guy he has waited so long. I don't know if he will every have it. It is going to be so awesome!!

A Post I forgot about.....

1) No Pilates class for me this week. I hurt my back teaching my class when I had back pain already. Big mistake. My dad says I now have a inflamed facet capsule. That could take a few more weeks to heal. Fabuloso...not really. Uhh I have never been more frustrated. I can't clean my house pick up my girls, hold them, or bend normally. Meanwhile I feel the pain and have kind of been in a crappy mood. My body is turning to mush and I am gaining weight awesome. Hope I can get better soon and get back to my life as a Pilates teacher.

2) Our neighbors have been doing awesome at church. I am really happy they are taking the discussions at our house and we can answer questions they may have at church or about the things we do. We are so lucky to have such great neighbors. We will never move away from this place. I also love our location and how green it is down my street. A photographers paradise!! It is about to change we are getting new neighbors. The Bailey's are moving to Hurricane, UT. I don't think they have anyone wanting to buy or rent it yet. Interesting. .. . 

3) We went on a double date with our other awesome neighbors Jenn & Garritt Schouten. We went and ate at that amazing Italian place that is new in Mesquite. We were going to go see Wolverine but we missed the starting time. Then we went and checked at the theaters and no other movie was starting for at least an hour. So we just went to get ice cream at Dairy Queen. It was a blast and we laughed so much. 

4) We have had some cooler days this week. So we went on a RZR ride yesterday, we saw a desert turtle and the girls were smitten with it. It was lucky we didn't run it over, right on our trail. One of our favorite spots to go is where the old Simplot was and play in the white sand. We all love it. 

Photos to remember. ..

Putting On A Brave Face....

It is that time in my life again. To put on a brave face and try to get pregnant once again. I had a miscarriage June 2012 and have been trying to conceive ever since.
I haven't opened up about my whole ordeal but once again I know it is part of the healing I need. I have resisted for a very long time. I have been inspired by others today to write down my feelings and what I have been going through. Life is short and we never know when we won't be able to write down our feelings or forget them.
After I had my miscarriage and I had tried for a year my doctor thought it would be wise to do a HSG test. This is a test that tells if your uterus is clear, if there is any blockage in the tubes, if you have scar tissue that type of thing. I bravely drove myself to the hospital and had it done. IT WAS HORRIBLY PAINFUL!! Because my left tube was completely blocked. And to unblock it or clean it out they had to put lots and lots of fluid up there. I felt as though someone picked up my uterus, hucked it across a gym floor and then hooked it with a fishing hook, reeled it in and placed it back inside of me.They told me I had no scar tissue from my previous 2 c-sections and that everything else looked great.
I talked to my doctor once again and he was happy to know I had a blocked tube. He figured that was the problem, and that I now would conceive very soon. I tried for a few more months and no luck.
He then put me on a fertility drug called Femera that is a newer, better, less side effects, kind of Clomid. I took it for one month, went and got my blood done and was late that month on my period. My doctor told me to take an at home pregnancy test and it was negative and my period did come. I was heartbroken once again.
I told him I needed a break and took at least 3 months off. It has been wonderful to not think about conceiving every day. And try super duper hard to make one. That is not very fun. I told him I would retry in Jan.
Well, it is close to Jan. and I am once again going to put my brave face on and try to conceive. But I am limited to hurt. If it doesn't happen in the next four months I may have to be done. I feel so numb to it all now. Women who can keep trying for months and months and lose one baby after another are amazing to me. Bravo to you brave, brave souls!!
I have moments where I know if I just had my two girls I would be so grateful and we would be happy and fine. But, I don't want to regret in 10 years that I didn't try hard enough to have another.
I have been to the temple about it and have cried to my Heavenly Father and have been wanting to know what His plan for my family is. Am I done, am I not. All I felt was to feel at peace for what my life is now and for what I have now that is it.
Going through all of this I would never take back my trial of losing a baby and infertility because it has taught me to love more, and know what others go through, and become very close with my Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ knows that pain and suffering I am in, because He suffered for me and everything I go through in my life. I trust and love Him. He will carry my sorrows.

Family Pics 2013: Best we have ever taken!! Thanks mom